Breathe...it's free.

Nothin' like a great complement

Its sometimes easier to criticize another person than to give out a nice complement. Think of all the times where you may have "observed" someone's "absurd orange shoes" or "awful hair cut."  Speaking of hair cuts, have any of you experienced the person who says "Hey, did you get a haircut?"  You answer "yes" but don't get a complentary response (ie It looks really nice).  I've decided that if I don't like someone's haircut (and I KNOW it was cut), then I don't ask.  Most people look for the complement to follow the simple question, and if its not given, then we assume you may not like the haircut. Why make us wonder. So to all you "observers" of someone's new haircut: DONT ASK if you don't like it.  If you do like it, there's absolutely nothing wrong with sending a nice complementary "it looks fabulous!"

It's the goodness in people that makes us positive creatures to be around.  Rather than staring someone up and down and walking away, either 1. Become a little more stealth about your "stare" or 2. Follow it up with a complement. 

Genuine complements make people feel great.  Don't save them.  But on the flip side, don't over-complement...that's an entirely different blog. 

On Loneliness: Build Community

The baby boom generation is headed for a crisis of loneliness. The reasons are simple: demographics and social isolation. More boomers are living alone than in previous generations, and those living with another person will still feel the nagging pangs of loneliness.

 I have been reading a lot of articles lately on the concept of loneliness versus aloneness.  There is a huge  difference between the two terms and they should be clafiried:

Loneliness is a subjective sensation of distress, where as we turn to other "things" to run away from being alone with oneself.  Aloneness, is simply being by oneself and finding content in these times, and can be a great way to learn to love oneself.  Learning to be fulfilled alone,  I believe, is the key to overcoming loneliness. 

Everyone will feel the sense of loneliness at one time or another in life.  But constant lonelinesss is not good for our well-being.  People need people.  We are very social animals and also thrive on being surrounded by others. 

Here are some astonishing facts from cited from the Boston Globe:

In 1950, only 10% of households had just one person. In 1994, it had moved to 24%. Fewer than 10% age 25 to 44 live alone, but about 25% of those age 65 to 74 and about 40% for those over age 75. Some remain very happy- but supposedly only about 1/3. A1990 Gallup study indicated that about 36% of Americans are lonely. More statistics:

• People who are isolated but healthy are twice as likely to die over a period of a decade as those not isolated. A study showed that the more isolated men are up to 25% more likely to die of all causes at any age versus non isolated men. The odds for women are 33%.
• Living alone after a heart attack significantly increase the risk of dying
• People with heart disease have a poorer chance of survival if they are unmarried or do not have a partner to assist them.
• Women who are alone and have breast cancer live half as long as those who do not.
• People with malignant melanoma who participate in group intervention live longer than those who do not.

WHAT CAN WE DO?  BUILD A COMMUNITY.

Of the greatest way in which yoga has become positively westernized, is in the in the way it has organically built community in America. Whether or not you know it, the person on that yoga mat next to you in a room filled with 20 something people, is contributing to your well being.  You may not know his/her name, but you know the smiling face and the hello's you exchange before or after class. This simple exhange and "understanding of eachother" contributes to your social community...at a far deeper level than our sweaty bodies ever imagined.

Stay connected.

Checking out other blogs

If you enjoy reading this blog, I highly suggest reading a blog that I read daily:  www.therunningmind.blogspot.com

Very enjoyable and topics that parallel Breathe...its free. 

Keep reading. 

Its ok to agree to disagree.

One pet peeve I have is when someone is too agreeable, when you find that he/she is "yes'ing" you or completely on your side for everything you say - even if its not right! 

I love challenging conversations that inspire insight into a new perspective.  If we're always nodding our head and agreeing on topics, there's no room for deeper conversations and a broader level of awareness, and to stretch the mind in a different way. 

Debating is fabulous.  Blogs are a great way to express your opinion about something, and run with it.  Now, I'm not suggesting to disagree for the sake of disagreeing.  But if you have a strong passionate view opposed to the writers or comments on a blog, please feel free to send them! 

That's what makes a blog more interactive and worth reading!

Thanks for reading, but more thanks for your insight and your comments.